Like clockwork migraine

For about 5 weeks now each Saturday has been a migraine day. Waking up with a migraine, enduring it through the day, sleeping when it is too difficult and hoping it will eventually wear off. This is Sunday and it still hasn't worn off fully it gently waits in the wings but I am sure when waking up on Monday morning all will be fine.All clear and I'd gotten through another weekend of incapacity.

This has got to be related to an event which causes stress and the only event during the week is work. Five days of work and two days of disability. So it is related to the constant stresses in the workplace which are building up like a kettle about to boil, then come to boil on the sixth day and final release is the seventh day. It's not possible to do the work of two or three people, it is only possible to do the work of one. Given time to breath there are chances to relax and think about becoming more efficient, however if there is an inefficient system in place then any adjustments have to be made around that said system. Such is the way IT works. I want to do one thing but in order to do it then I may have to run around the block a couple of times. After running around eventually tiredness sets in, and in mental running about mental stress and exhaustion set in.

I like my job, I like the responsibilities, the pay and the working conditions. It has taken years to get where I am, and though I have misgivings about those who manage me (but not in all cases) working in this organization has become more pressurised and difficult. Particularly more so as budgets have got tighter and are now like a noose around the neck of a condemed man moments from swinging. The migraines are a mental release of built up pressure. If I hang on there long enough then the situation is going to change and they will go away. I hope.

Sleep and migraine

Yesterday I didn't do a great deal, finding myself watching youtube vids and sleeping or trying to sleep.  This is something I've noticed, the migraine isn't totally debilitating but it is accompanied by a need to just close my eyes. It's difficult to tell whether this can be linked to prolonged use of a computer and staring at a monitor does it. However, going to bed does bring some relief. Further this kind of napping is not of the short variety but can be a few hours.  In the middle of such a doze I sometimes stir and take note of how I feel. Again all I can say is very tired and comfortable laying down dozing off, almost to the extent I could actually be getting a real overnight sleep. Perhaps during this period the brain follows the normal sleep pattern and rejuvenates all those neurotransmitters again. I wonder if it is an age thing because a afternoon nap is also not uncommon now.
 
Sleep has four distinct cycles, cycle 1. is between awake and sleep, this is light, cycle 2. the body becomes disengaged from it's surroundings, and starts to drop in temperature, noises fade from consciousness the breathing and heart rate regulates. Cycle 3 and 4 are the deepest parts of sleeping

when the total relaxation of body and brain takes place, all muscles are fully relaxed, tissue repair takes place, hormones released and the brain no longer has to concentrate on movement and coordination instead it can go on a joy ride. The metabolism drops so it is not a good time to digest food and late night meals should be avoided. Oxygen which would of been used by the rest of the body can now be fed to the brain and the brain loves it. This is where rapid eye movement (REM) takes place, usually after about 90 minutes of sleeping and dreaming. The cycle then continues round and round.  In the last stages brain waves change and theta waves are produced, it is these waves which have been sort in biofeedback techniques they simply mean you are highly relaxed but also susceptible to suggestion. It is not necessary to be asleep to produce theta waves they can occur when day dreaming or wilfully given a bit of self meditation.

Funnily I am prone to think a migraine sleep is pretty intense and deep and when the need comes over it is almost like being drugged. It is possible to stave of the effect but it's much better to go with it and take a break. The only problem is sleeping in the afternoon can affect a proper night time sleep. So perhaps the normal cycle of sleep is shorter at this stage than it would normally be. It's been said just resting your eyes and your mind in the afternoon for a short period is good for the memory. So it must be good for the brain.

When working I sometimes try and do this in my lunch break. Taking a long break and then getting a moment in a comfortable chair leaning my head into my hand and pretending to look down and read my kindle. If I can get fifteen minutes of this shut eye it's wonderful. There are usually people around me or even kids because I sit this way in a comfortable settee provided at a pub. Yet the noise of those around seems to be dampened down by my consciousness. Again this is very much a sleep related phenomenon. For a moment or two I can feel a little light headed and REM come on. But it is not a normal sleep cycle, it is like a stolen part of a sleep cycle, temporary yet very real in relaxation. After a short walk back to work I'm ready for the afternoon session. If I'm enduring a migraine then these moments are more welcome and once led me to have a much longer lunch break than intended.

Something I have learned to go with. If I feel tired I should allow a moment of tiredness to take over however I'm aware if I did this all the time then my sleep pattern would be all over the place probably sleeping twice a day and then working late at night or very early in the morning. Yet, can't help thinking there may well be something to just letting things happen and just maybe the human body isn't meant to follow a conventional 24 hour cycle, maybe it is a forced societal convention which tells everyone they must go to bed and sleep at night. Just perhaps if all the humans on the planet got looked at this a little deeper they'd find different groups of people could sleep and be awake at different times then there might be no such thing as conventional and we'd all be sleeping when we needed it and working when at our most alert.

No Pain Migraine

It is an odd feeling but sometimes migraine does not have any pain. Most of the time there will be but once in a while there will be a no pain migraine. When this happens at first it is even difficult to recognise you have it. This happened to me yesterday. While at work I could feel the usual tension build up and accompanied by tinnitus but no physical aura of pain arrived. Instead there was a dizzyness, which can be nauseating depending if you are sitting down or walking about. A gentle walk to the photocopier suddenly feels a bit like being on the rolling seas on a little tub boat. Of course all of this is going on in your head and it's not necessary to grab hold of the nearest hand hold to make sure I don't fall over the edge of the carpet.  It's at this time I say to myself "this is not real, the floor is not swaying, you can walk straight."  Fortunately it was near the end of the day and hopefully would mean the rest of my colleagues wouldn't have enough time to establish whether I was drunk and disorderly.

So I have been to bed and got up again, had breakfast and sat down for a quick BLOG writing to non existent readers.  As I sat down I can feel the dizziness again. I didn't eat breakfast, it could be momentary starvation which is brining it on but I know it's the dizzy migraine thing happening again. I'll just walk in a slow lea surely fashion and keep calm, calm always helps. The good thing is being too busy with your own problems usually means the problems of work take on little significance. Now if only this damn boat would keep still!

12 hours of TV

It was one of those days when sitting in front of a monitor seemed to be an easier option than actually getting up off my arse and doing something else. The walk for instance, which I had promised myself. Instead I sat there watching TV for 12 hours it continued and at the end of it a half migraine kicked in. It lasted through the night's slumber, into the next day and about 36 hours later began to dissipate. Sleep had kicked in twice in intermittent attacks through this period, I got used to it now, if I'm at home I go to bed and then feel better for it.  It's the theory of a neurotransmitter imbalance which has to right itself and sleep is just as good as any to do it.  As is not watching too many consecutive hours of TV.

A day on the western front of migraine land

The weather has been hot, very hot, nearly an entire week of hot. Which could be an additional factor to migraines. But it's not just the hot weather, it's bright sunshine, you just can't get away from it. So it has been about 4 days of intermittent migraine harassment.  It has not been so debilitation as to be unable to work but rather just above a headache.  And like suffering from a hangover, with the dizzy feeling, like any moment I am about to fall over in a staggering way.  Whether it's the weather or not, I walk everywhere slowly, dragging my feet because I feel tired all the time.  It doesn't help waking up at an unearthly hour of the morning and not being able to sleep. Then during the day as a migraine hits I can feel a need to close my eyes and sleep. While at my desk.  I fight it off.  Rubbing my temples, momentarily closing my eyes.  In the open plan office (a nightmare in itself) the sound of people chatting around me becomes an intolerable noise.  I put in ear plugs and then ear muffs on top. I can still hear their voices, I just wish there was a higher level noise suppression than these almost pitiful devices.  In an effort to ensure I am not dehydrated I drink copious amounts of water, I'm not sure if it helps but I do end up pissing a lot. Then again a few minutes away from the mad noise of the office floor is a godsend.

The evening comes and salvation begins by laying on a bed in a hot room closing my eyes and still with a half numb head sleep.  At least when sleeping I can't feel a thing, until that is waking at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason and fighting to sleep again.

Beyond a joke

This is the first post about migraines I get.  You get to a point where enough is enough and the thing is there is no personal choice over getting a migraine, it's like some invisible dark evil cloaked being has just swooped down from nowhere and decided it was time to taunt me. 

"Yes, it's you, it's your turn you silly little man. You wanted to have a week free migraine period, but oh no, not for you."

At which a silent thunderbolt strikes deep between the temples of my head and the constant unrelenting pain of the thing kicks in.  I don't think it would be any worse being on a torture table and a clamp was strapped and tightened.  Any movement becomes painful and disorientating. Sounds and smells are more than annoying little things they become annoying big things. Food and the smell of food becomes a diplomatic exercise of whether it will make things worse or not. Appetite goes.  Which isn't such a bad thing because it means losing weight.  You have to look on the bright side, unfortunately light appears incredibly intense.  Curtains have to be pulled, but too much light still gets through, this is worse in summer.  It's necessary to wrap an item of clothing around my head and over my eyes, this way it cuts down the light more.  Ear plugs are a necessity and then find a position not too hot to lay still and just let both intense waves of delirium come sleep flood in and out of consciousness. It becomes a constant sleep and weird dream like state.

So it is eight and a half hours later, I manage to get up, the pain and torture subsided enough to reasonably function.  I'm not completely out of the woods yet, the clamps have loosened enough to make me feel comfortable, but reminded they are still there.